The Lengths Women Go To, To Get A Man

“I would rather recreate myself than be rejected by a man “

The above quote came from a woman who wrote in to a talk show. The topic was “The lengths women go to, to get a man”.

The said talk show aired quite some time ago. The words struck something within me. I was shocked at the statement. So I wrote it down.  But at the time, wasn’t sure what more to say or think of it.

But now I lie in bed after having a private movie marathon and realising that we all sacrifice a part of ourselves to suit someone we think we want or someone we do indeed want.

We tweak, chop & change and morph to fit into some said or perceived way of being that will enable us to obtain that which we are after; whether it be a job, an opportunity, a grand prize on a reality TV show, a friendship. Or even (extreme as it may seem) A man.

The pursuit of love.

It can do some crazy things to a person. I tell you. Full on change you.

Slowly, yet, dramatically.

One lady called in, sharing her personal experience; that she had gone as far as making some physical changes to please the man she was with. She had several plastic surgeries to get closer to becoming the woman of his dreams – whatever that meant.

She nipped and tucked and endured months of, hospital food and pain during her hospitalisation at different times in her life only to inch closer to this man’s idea of what he deemed beautiful.

Yes, she most definitely had self esteem issues. But maybe she didn’t approach the relationship that way. Maybe, like you and I, she was simply willing to compromise.

Compromise.

Perhaps she merely feared rejection. Don’t we all? The only difference between us all is the extent we would go to in order to avoid it.

I will never know what she was going through - the minute little pieces of her that chipped away, the moments that edged her to  her arrival at that point.

What I do know is that we all sacrifice a part of ourselves in the pursuit of what we want. It’s a scary fact of life.

I’ve seen many-a-girl carry out mildly outrageous antics to try fit into their particular beau of choice’s mould of “The perfect girl”

Dumbing themselves down to land the guy, taking up the ugly damaging habit of smoking or dressing differently & going to specific clubs to land that guy, some have pulled out the dustiest files of a soccer/rugby/hockey/American football teams and clued themselves up for their next (or potential?) encounter.

And are they to blame for changing to suit that specimen? Isn’t it the most basic law of life – survival of the fittest? The fittest in the dating Olympics could be the “best dressed”, “coolest”,  “sweetest”, “easiest to get along with”, most clued up on “The Canucks”. Basically the one most likely to change to suit what the man wants. One that isn’t willing to challenge his intellect, one he can watch football with, maybe even one he can experiment drugs with and go wild at trance parties with. (Different strokes for different folks right?)

Who am I to judge?

I myself have done some fairly extreme things to impress a guy. I have gone as far as reading up (for hours) about the topics that interest him so that I can be well versed in his interests.

I’ve tried to seem helpless so that he can feel needed. But in the end none of the above worked, Not because I didn’t pull if off well enough (sad to admit). But, because it just wasn’t me and I grew tired of pretending. I certainly am not helpless. If anything, I enjoy being needed. I just couldn’t keep some things up. It’s too taxing.

It’s complex this game we play.

The easiest way to make it as least strenuous as possible is to be yourself and to be open enough to let him see what that is (hoping that he reciprocates) and if what is on offer doesn’t make your heart jolt move on swiftly. You’re bound to find someone that does.

I sang for someone in 43 secs flat - Listen!

Ha ha, a friend of mine is on a Dj/Music world tour (Cause he's tight like that) and he is feeling rather homesick. So I decided that since I couldn't send him good old Biltong I would cheer him up with my voice! Have a listen by clicking here.

One take is all it took!

Technology and I are becoming good friends :)

Common Decency - It's Free

On a slightly more disgruntled note.

I have been feeling irritated by this annoying trait that keeps gravitating towards me. This time it has possessed  the most surprising of hosts.

The bug of the lack of decency.

I’ve been working (real hard) at letting go of expectations. Because its liberating, not only for me, but for you too. It frees my mind and alleviates the cropping up of the emotion of disappointment. It frees you, it gives your soul true freedom. My take anyway.

But lately I’ve realised that letting go of expectations comes with a high price tag dangling from its ankle.

It means that I have to take any old morsels of manners and love that come my way. It’s hard when you KNOW people have more to give than the 3^rd grade scraps I have to lap up.

Here are a few guidelines to avoid giving my skin this rash:

If I text you, call you, email you and you cant respond. Do so when you eventually get a chance to even if it means sending me a PLS CALL ME – honestly its not THAT embarrassing and I won’t judge you for it.

If PLS CALL ME’s are too hard to send – smoke signals shall suffice.

If you can’t make it to do something, tell me. Don’t let me connect the dots.

Make it up to me if you do mess up. Flowers, cash & good experiences gladly accepted.

Say “Please”, “Thank you” and “Sorry” where necessary. I shall kindly spell I out below

"Please" – if you would like something use it before you request or after (Just slot it in there somewhere)

"Thank you" – once your request has been met it should be used, or if a nice gesture is shown it is used to show gratitude

"Sorry" – if you have done something wrong and would like forgiveness, this word kind of helps.

If you have to print this guide to help you remember. Do so. Here it is - It's free.

The best things in life are free

The last few days have been unbelievable. My evenings have been comprised of great conversations and unexpected nights out. I don’t have a dime to my name but somehow (thanks to my loving friends) have managed to have a fantastic week.


Art Exhibitions, drinks in new bars, discovering Tagores in Observatory, wine at Cine Ganesh, first time visits to Spring Boks & Tin roof in Claremont (Yes, I see the shock on your face 3 years in Cape Town and you haven’t ever set foot there until now?!), re-connecting with friends I have been neglecting and missing so dearly. An overall winner of a week.


Friday was a lucky packet of music, discovering a “Smokie” in Woodstock, live bands at house parties, great punch (that kicked one helluva punch) & making friends with cops that were disturbing the fun.



Saturday brought an early morning – painful given my state the night before (a few hours to be exact). But composure was necessary. Great meeting that promises the beginning of something amazing. Catching up with a well-missed friend over tea and re-acquainting myself with my life journal.


Sunday was my gift to my friends I combined 2 of my favourite loves (Cooking & touching people) a “So Long Summer” gathering; where I prepared some Mexican cuisine with the great help of some absolutely amazing, loving people and gave foot & back massages.


Topped the night off with a visit to watch a jazz band play at Tagores in Obs and a giggling fit of a girly chat while snuggled in bed before drifting off to sleep.


A fantastic week. Thank you Cape Town.

"I would rather recreate myself than be rejected by a man"

COMING SOON:

Post on the lengths women would to, to get a man.

Currently conducting research.

A lovely parcel for you ...

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Madness creeps up on SA (Part 2 of...well lets wait & see)

Okay, this one is not so much funny as it is embarrasing and outrageous (as is the first on to be honest) it is simply jaw-droppingly shocking.

Julius, unlike Mr. Visagie has a lot more power in that a lot more people relate to him, listen to him and actually like him (as bizarre as it is). He holds a rather powerful seat in SA (Head of the ANC Youth League).

ANC being the (fairly unchallenged) ruling party in South Africa.

If this idiot doesn't learn diplomacy and the difference between when to shut the hell up and when to speak up we will end up in some boiling water. (I ask myself again - how did he end up there?)

Madness creeps up on SA (Part 1 of...well lets wait & see)

Since the murder of Eugene Terreblanche, havoc of a scary (sometimes really hilarious) nature has erupted. The content isn't funny(as such) its the way people seem to express themselves when they are in the public arena and overwhelmed with anger or frustration that makes me laugh.

Before I dig myself into a pit of quicksand watch this and you'll probably understand.

When jokes go too far

Recently a friend of mine on facebook invited me to join an event called "International Round Up The Women & Herd Them To The Kitchen Day". When I saw the invite I was shocked but decided to find out what it was all about before getting worked up.

I went on the event page and was at a loss for words to say the least. The humour was tasteless and the images were the final straw on this camel's back.

If you are reading this and think that the 3 images (out of about 50) I have placed below are offensive and go much much further than any "joke" should. Please visit the site by following this link and reporting the event and the images that you find offensive.

 Source

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There is a line between funny and just plain offensive. And this event and its members have definitely crossed it. I have a fairly tough skin and am not overly sensitive, but even I think that this group and the images advocate violence towards women. Its sickening & worrying.

"Power Corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely" a true tale of harrasment in SA

I'd like to begin this post by describing the person who this below occurrence happened to. *Tom is one of the most warm-spirited, generous and gentle people I know. Music is his great love and passion. He is a really great person who is both tolerant and untampering in who other people are and chose to be.

I am deeply upset that things like this happen to people, but even more upset that *Tom had to endure such a soul-oppressing situation.

What you read below is his own account of what happened to him and how he felt.

All your comments, thoughts and ramblings are welcome.

"So yeah, here's the whole story; I was driving behind this guy in a Ford Focus WZW073GP yesterday, coming past the Boskruin Shopping centre and it had just become a double lane. As this guy was driving very slowly, I tried to pass him on the right when he suddenly swerved into the right hand lane without indicating. I then swerved left and went past him. I looked at him and opened and closed my hand to tell him that he should indicate next time and he instantly turned on his blue light and I could hear him screaming at me to pull over. As I had done nothing wrong, I presumed that it was one of those random "stop & search procedures, so I pulled over. He then got out and ran up to my window and threatened to "F$#@ me up", I was very apologetic as he had a gun around his waist as well as a whole lot of other stuff. He was very abusive and calling me all sorts of derogatory words/names. When I told him he couldn't speak to me that way, He then got even more angry and shouted at me to get out my car because he was going to " teach me a lesson and F$#@ me up!" As he had not produced a badge, I did what Carte Blanche said and refused to get out the car and said that we could drive to the nearest police station and he could arrest me and do whatever else there, to which he replied, "You drive anywhere and I'll F$#@ing fill your car with led!" I was totally freaked out by this and just kept apologizing until eventually he let me go. I was going to go to the cops about this but in fear for my life or being hunted down and totally harassed by this guy, I won't... Human Rights??? I think not!... What kind of world do we live in when the police hold all the cards and there's absolutely nothing you can do in your own defence? It’s sickening."

There were lots of reponses to this post; that was fairly encouraging - people voicing their frustrations and anger towards this kind of behviour and form of abuse.

My response to it:

"Wow *Tom I’m so sorry you had to endure this kind of harassment and blatant denial of your rights.

One of the most upsetting things about reading this is understanding how totally powerless you felt. The problem is that policemen/women (and most people of authority) can do pretty much anything to you and it most times goes unnoticed or very well covered up.

The biggest issue here is this very old phrase “Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely” you can see it everywhere. Look at our political situation – I won’t go into that for now – you know how worked up I get.... See More

But bottom line is people don’t go into jobs because they genuinely love what the job entails. People get jobs because they need to eat and feed a family. Its simply “a job” not a craft that they use to better someone else's life nor for the betterment of something (perhaps a system of doing things).

Once again I’m sorry you had to go through this.

Would you mind if I posted this on my blog? I think situations like yours are experienced by most and then get swept under the carpet because “nothing happened in the end”.

I'm sorry but verbal assault IS something.

Massive Love to you *Tom. x"

Oysters & Champagne - a delightful Twosome!

The difficulty I find with sharing my experiences (not so much my thoughts) is that I never know how well I can paint the picture; how well I can make the feelings and images form in another’s imagination.

But I have come to accept that some emotions are impossible to share, some images are impossible to reconstruct in another’s mind. And so almost do the actual experience no justice. I shall share nonetheless and continue to try to relay these lovely parcels.

Like I have mentioned before I am exceptionally lucky. “Little miss fortunate” indeed. And so I won a pair of tickets sponsored by Whatson! Thanks Murray Walker!

It was fairly hard to decide who I was going to take with me. So I asked *Frank although I didn’t entirely think he was the best option – but laziness on my part and quite frankly not looking forward to having the favouritism talk with my friends! But he declined which forced me to make the much-dreaded decision. But I knew it was right when I had made it. I asked *Magdalena – I have been wanting to do something special with her for ages and here; a beautiful chance had presented itself. She agreed, very excited at that! I invited another friend (*Charlie) who I had been neglecting too and the 3 of us headed out to the vineyards of Durbanville to Bleomendal wine estate.

We head straight to the Champagne tasting table, we sampled each and every single Champagne they had on offer and quickly made friends with the guys. With Magdalena’s gorgeous eyes and charm it was rather easy to keep our glasses filled each time we wanted more.

We sampled the oysters on offer and decided that I’m officially wildly in love with oysters. Tasty buggers.

After slurping up our oysters we sampled some whisky with *Charlie. He loves whisky, something I never previously thought I might appreciate fully. But I have in fact been converted. After a generous taste of “ Wild Geese Strawberry Kisses” I was sold! Alcohol that strong shouldn’t taste that great.

On the last few drops of the heavenly drink *Magdalena points out another place where we can sample champagne at no cost. So we head there as they pack up and ask them to Please please let us taste some but an annoyed “No” from the man behind the counter came at us. So we trotted back to our trustee glass fillers.

A few moments later I get called from across the way and it’s the manager of the stand that had just denied us tasting of their offerings. I head over there and he points at the bottles and asked me which one I want. Are you kidding me? I happily point at the rose and voila! Just like that its mine. I head back with a huge grin on my face,

All of a sudded we’ve earned ourselves a whole bunch of friends without even giving up our champagne bottle. Fantastic. 2 more gentlemen approach us and hand us 2 half bottles of champagne – seriously?

We then head over to the dance floor to listen to some Afrikaans rock…quite interesting and groovy despite my slight reservations. We dance the night away and make some more friends. And have a lot of heavy meaningful conversations regarding politics in SA and the role of young Afrikaners in it all. How insightful. Interesting as we have this conversation the day after the very controversial Terreblanche is beaten to death by his 2 black farm labourers aged 15 and 21.(Eek...my thoughts on this later)

Some images of the astronomical, surreal whirlwind day shall follow in the coming days

The flipside of Certainty

Earlier this week I began writing some thoughts on what I was feeling at the time. The title of the post was going to be “The sweetness of certainty”.

I was feeling particularly lonely and, to be very honest, missing the pleasure of going home and knowing that someone (that loves mer and genuinely cares for me – male to be exact) will be there  at the end of the day waiting to hold me, hear my boring details of how my day was. Someone to cuddle up with and just watch movies with on a cold, wet, Cape Town winter; someone to giggle with, someone to tickle me, someone to make me laugh out loud, someone to fool around with.

Not a great place to be I admit.

And then last night happened.

Everything that I had planned to happen, most certainly did not. Besides meeting the lovely *Laila for a meeting on the next event we’re going to organise for the amazing organization we volunteer for.

We (together with 5 other friends) were meant to go to a TEDx event in the Western Cape and were all super amped to check it out.

But what actually transpired was nothing short of a cocktail of unexpected bliss (the opposite of the very certainty I was sourly missing). One after the other they each fell out of the plan for the night. For varying reasons.

By the time *Laila & I were finished with our meeting and catch-up; it was after 7pm and I sure as God made green apples was not going to roll the dice and use public transport at that time by myself. So I went to the trustee spot – Neighbourhood.

*Laila came with me (what a darling). I got a glass of wine and an even bigger glass of water to keep me on the sane side – after all I was basically a homeless puppy dog hoping for the best, hoping against all the obvious odds, that my wild, crazy, fun ( yet suprisingly reliable mate given all the above traits) would come and rescue me as she usually does – introducing *Ava.  She (*Ava) had texted me earlier asking if I wanted to join her and a friend for a drink later but hadn’t heard from her since I responded with a vigorous cyber nod given the seemingly dismal state of affairs!

*Laila was hella tired and had to leave, I lapped up the last drops of my wine and walked her downstairs to a cab that was conveniently waiting on our doorstep.

I trekked upstairs and gathered some few coins together for one more glass of vino. I was going to wait but no one said it would have to be a painful wait right? As I stepped outside to search for some familiar faces, I bumped straight into a good friend I had had a bit of a fall out with mid last year. I was happy to see him – as always.  He was meeting with some of his friends from University (which is years ago for him). As he tried to call them, they pop around the corner. Intro’s all round, as the surface talk continues a table right beside me clears up and I slide right in and so do the lads.

We all chit chat away. Come to think of it, there was actually never really any moment of awkward silence as there normally is when I encounter people for the first time. I sat next to *Leonardo Di Caprio (dubbed that by a rather liquored up **randomer – typical Cape Town scene right?). *Leonardo made me laugh, a lot. Like out LOUD, several times. How refreshing.  Precisely what I needed & didn’t even realise.

When strangers ignite that within you, it warms the heart in a way I can’t describe.

Our conversation flows so effortlessly and so naturally. I’m starting to appreciate why things didn’t work out for us to go to the TEDtalk. The universe had other, better, plans for me it seems.

Later (approximately 2 hefty hours!) I come to a crystal clear realisation – I’ve gatecrashed this meeting of old friends. I dither. Should I excuse myself or stay and sheepishly point out the my realisation or, well, simply stay – I’ve come this far. And the most important part – it all feels right. I don’t feel like an imposter. Maybe they were being polite. I shut that voice down and just continue to enjoy the great company.

*Leonardo’s friend wants to go home. So we, after careful deliberation, decide that *Leonardo shall drop his friend off and we shall meet up at a different spot. Done.

*Ava arrives just as this decision receives the stamp of approval. (I sense the loud, rowdy, happy, chaos in the fairly near distance & know she has arrived...) How perfect.

Elated hellos out of the way, we meet up with some of her other (equally crazy) pals and the drinks flow.

As discussed earlier with Leonardo, I round up the troops and we head to my favourite bar in Cape Town Julep. When we arrive there I see a hand full of familiar faces which I hadn’t planned on seeing – how pleasant.

After the numerous, seemingly endless hellos and hugs. I spot Leonardo at the bar.

I join him and pick up where we left off. We meet a man who dresses up as a nun and makes the masses laugh, we reminisce on the cartoons that made up our childhood, singing “gummy bears,dancing here and there and everywhere” and a whole bunch of other rather childish songs. So much fun.

I abandon the mission to go to Fiction to party the night away, its 1am and I have work tomorrow. I politely ask him to take me home and he does.

No awkwardness when I get home. Besides not being able to find my keys in the bottomless pit of an excuse for a hand bag – but I’m female so I thinks it’s fairly acceptable.

As I lay in bed I reconnect with that electric seduction of uncertainty. Not knowing what shall happen next. It’s a gift you know. Like winning a spot prize when you least expect it.

**The said randomer shall be mentioned in a blog post later. He is a topic all on his own.

I'm in Love - Her Name is YUKIMI NAGANO!

Little Dragon, Where have you been all my life?

How beautiful is this?

Psst...Hey, let me tell you something!

Sometimes I Dress up & Sometimes I sing

Introducing "The FUnky DivaS"

Caitllin "Dutchesse" Hill. Nonhlanhla "Tiger Lily" Mditshwa. Didintle "Still Deciding" Ntsie

Indeed the year of experiences. 

The "FUnky DiVas" are born of a tipsy night out on the town singing in the car at the top of our lungs on the way to a dinner party in Sea Point.

"Killing me softly, with his songggg! Telling my whOoOle life with his words, killing me softly..."

So Miss Nonhlanhla - pictured below with the gorgeous one-of-a-kind colourful outfit, is the one who put us to it. She brings Cape Town: "Tiger Lilly presents Boundless Artistic Expression" She heard us belting it out in the car and so a few days later "FUnky DiVaS" was born.

Our next performance will be on Sat 20th March at The Daddy Long Legs Boutique Hotel in Long Street Cape Town.

Come Grin & Bear it.

So back to my downright SHIT week

As soon as I located Ruby I was quickly reminded that I have a whole bunch of unfinished business when I would eventually have her in my shaky arms again.


Her license disc is expired. But unlike most, I somehow managed to go a whole year & bit without renewing it. This means an additional R500 on top of the slightly short of horrendous & obscene amount I had to pay to get her out of the impound. Lets not even go into the unpaid fines and possible outstanding warrants for my arrest (some of you might have to put some bits of change under your beds for Didi’s bail collection money in advance)


It catches up doesn’t it? Sigh.


Then there was the heat – now under normal circumstances I would relish the very bright, relentless presence of the sun & his rays. I’m a self confessed & proud sun lover. But this, ladies & gentleman, was a little short of slow cooking in our skins, stuck in our badly ventilated homes.


I then remembered what I did NOT miss about the Pretoria (highveld area) heat. That kind of ridiculous heat brought back childhood & adolescent memories and realities of a dry bleeding nose (great), a rush of crusty, itchy eczema (fantastic) and sneeze attacks that would come in gangs of 11 loud uncontrollable sneezes in a row (fabulous for public spaces, when you’ve run out of the last morsel of tissue in addition to hearing echoes of dad’s advice “you should carry a handkerchief, its cheap, easy to maintain & its better that toilet paper & tissue - ,my child its not just for old people”)


((Useless tit-bit – My dad really does use the term “my child”. I love him. ))

The weekend was not a particularly restful one either. That annoying acquaintance *FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) decided to possess me at the most inopportune time (oh but offcourse); when I had volunteer work crammed in the “extreme procrastination” pigeonhole.


I had it all worked out in my mind:


Friday night: After a stressful day at work chill out & get some much-needed & deserved rest & me-time.

Saturday: Work through some volunteering work, go to Danya’s birthday braai-party-pool-do, SKIP 340ml live performance no matter the pressure so I can be fresh & functional on Sunday.


Sunday: Early morning I’d be a model for a photo shoot my friend asked me to help him with for his portfolio - yes buddy I shall be there 6am sharp, then come back home, relax with a glass of wine by the pool, finish off what I didn’t manage to finish off on the volunteer work pile & then my reward; date with *Frank.


What actually transpired was nothing short of embarrassing. I did none of the productive items on that list – forget it. In actual fact I went and did some extra stuff that was not on there like fixing my hair (I must admit it was much needed – when your white male friend asks you what’s going on with the weave & when its coming out & what WE are going to do about I, you know its time. It’s non-negotiable. It had to be done)


Just a snippet of how embarrassing: having not slept after a night of partying and seeing 340ml (insert shy, sheepish smile) heading straight to the location for the shoot after a quick bath only to find that that shoot had been cancelled while already on the way there. Stunning. At least I could go get some shut-eye.


A good portion of Sunday was spent trying to locate my cell phone, which thank goodness was off, so that meant I could call it and find precisely where it was without too much trouble. When I showed up at Danya’s place to collect it – I suddenly realised I was wearing the same outfit as the “night before” to her and the rest. The same damn dress – it looked self-explanatory to the outside, unknowing eye. Any explanation was not going to be bought. Quicksand situation. So I didn’t try hard enough to convince.


Fast forward to today, I’m Joburg bound on a flight that I’m not meant to be on. I missed mine, even with 2 alarm clocks, a mom that worries and would normally call to wake me up (but didn't) AND the cab driver sleeping outside my house who also managed to oversleep – honestly? Yup, I know. Well, I did only go to sleep at 2:30am knocking away at the work I didn’t manage to do over the terrible weekend. Which had now jumped into the “critical procrastination” pigeonhole. But it’s done and that’s what matters.


I’m going to step back into the present and chow down on my breakfast & listen to some music.


I shall rant & rave again soon, I’m almost certain. After all I am approaching Johannesburg…only my least favourite city.

The man in the big black car...

So this afternoon, my mom and I were standing at a traffic light [yeah I call them that these days – Robots seems so like backward! (*insert attitude-fueled head movement from side to side & vigorous finger wagging plus an annoying ear piercing twang*)]

We were at the corner of Outspan & Rivonia Road in Morningside and I had been thinking all day about how out of place I feel in this place. How awkward I feel with the values and beliefs I hold dear. Makes me feel like they are flimsy. Like my ideas about the real importance of money are absolutely outdated and unrealistic.

In this place there are so many big flashy cars, flashy shiny shoes, flashy hair weaves, big flashy houses, shiny-skinned girls, with shiny lips, with expensive taste in clothes, social settings and fat-walleted men. Oh, don’t forget the nails.

I feel awkward here.

I have the most busted out feet in the history of a woman. I dare you to look at them. Double dare you to touch them! And would pay you to massage them - its an invitation Seriously. And it’s because I actually do stuff with them. You know, like hiking, walking barefoot in & around the house, and I love outdoorsy things. You know, ordinary stuff. Point is I use my feet, for something either than getting them to look good. (Okay I have to admit, I should sort them out, but why really? What is the pressing reason?)

Recently I have been feeling quite inadequate. Asking myself why I have not accumulated much (of anything let alone wealth) after so many years of giving of myself and of my talents. Why am I still in a financial position that forces me to look at selling my beloved Ruby, so I can have some extra bucks. I work damn hard. Harder than most people I know but I just don’t see it in my lifestyle. Come the 15th I’m outta cash & stressing big time.

Anyway with this back drop in mind. Back to the story – my mom & I have just come to a stop at the red traffic light. As we approach I take extra notice of the car standing beside us. A big black jeep with a wealthy looking man smoking out of his car window, he’s wearing a black shirt & a pair of dark sunglasses. Handsome too.


I don’t realise it but I must have been noticeably analyzing him. He looks right back and says “Hi”, “Hi, how are you?” I reply slightly surprised (not typical Joburg behaviour, I think), “Good thanks” he replies. “How has your day been?” he asks, I take a deep sigh taking stock of what a hectic day I’ve just had (beginning with a missed flight from Cape Town & all of a sudden ,in an instant it feels crazy, that I find myself where I am) with a deep sigh I begin to answer ”Wow, ridiculously, hectically busy & tiring actually, yours?”, he shakes his head “It’s mad isn’t it? We run around so busy all the time”, “Yes, its crazy!” I retort, “Right now, I’d rather be on an island somewhere actually enjoying my day” he says, we both stop to absorb that fantasy. He continues “You know I’ve spent so much time running around, working hard to get all these things, and now I’ve got them and realise that I was happier as a 22 year old with no money” The robot turns green and we both have to drive off.

What a deep meaningful conversation.

In that one, short conversation at a traffic light in Morningside I get the reassurance I’m after. I am not on the wrong path at all. And, I don’t need all that flash & cash to be happy. I’m better off as I am. A 22 year old with not much at all, but having a helluva lot of great, fullfilng experiences. Cash or not.

A crap couple of weeks But sunshine still exists

I received this Quote Of The Day this morning and it sprung out to me so so relevant for what I've been experiencing lately.

"Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it." Salma Hayek

The past few weeks have been rather rough on me. Rather shit to be exact. Where do I begin?

My car was towed away from my house without me realising that it was towed and not STOLEN. Yes I shed a tear or 2 (more like bucket load) only to realise that the car was stolen by the cops who didn't have the decency to leave me a note... It would have read something like this "Dear pretty young lady, your annoying snooty neighbours decided it was time to make your life more difficult and thought up a reason to do so, so they settled on this reason - there is a school down the road and in the mornings its difficult to get past your house - the 2cm over the pavement was just too much to bear so there, we're getting the cops to take your car"

So this has delayed my attempt to sell the car to my new found stalker - *William. He is obsessed with my car & will stop at nothing to buy it. Good for me I guess, but parting with Ruby to pay off debt is going to be hard - Imagine that? Selling you friend cos you're in a money rut. Sad. Except that (as much as I would love to believe this) she , Ruby that is, has no soul, no emotion, no feelings (it actually hurts to write this, because funny enough she would respond to my pleadings on a cold, rainy, misty Cape Town night stuck at on a busy intersection. A few rubs & "Come-on Ruby baby" would do the trick)

My lucky  passengers (lucky to be alive) soon learnt the tricks of the trade

On to my hard life tale, I have suddenly realised that I am in debt (not suicide enducing or anything, but debt nonetheless) and its starting to feel like I'm in a quick sand pit to nowhere. Its frustrating me. I got a phone call while at the Navy festival in Simonstown at 20:35 on a Friday evening to remind me to make payment on my account! What the fuck?

So now I cant even chill with my friends on a Friday night out & not be reminded of my ever looming dark cloud of debt. Great.

Then I had a fight with a former friend ( effective immideately - yes, it was that bad). What's upset me is not that I have lost her as a friend. Its how I lost her as a friend. That energy sucking leech. It was bound to happen, the relationship had run its at-first-rather-pleasant-and-fun-soon-thereafter-slightly-bumpy-most-times-turbulent-and-recently-downright-unpleasant course. It was time. 

What upset me was the fact that this individual, we'll car her *Grumpy (I wonder why this pseudonym) has these unbearable traits that she doesn't realise she has. One of being stubbornness. It makes it pretty hard to see and therefore change what is unpleasant about you to others. 

But that's her journey to undertake. I've learnt.

There is more on my shit week I shall divulge but the reality of deadlines, trips to johannesburg tomorrow morning with a flight ticket that is yet to materialise hang over me. I shall rant and rave later.