Earlier this week I began writing some thoughts on what I was feeling at the time. The title of the post was going to be “The sweetness of certainty”.
I was feeling particularly lonely and, to be very honest, missing the pleasure of going home and knowing that someone (that loves mer and genuinely cares for me – male to be exact) will be there at the end of the day waiting to hold me, hear my boring details of how my day was. Someone to cuddle up with and just watch movies with on a cold, wet, Cape Town winter; someone to giggle with, someone to tickle me, someone to make me laugh out loud, someone to fool around with.
Not a great place to be I admit.
And then last night happened.
Everything that I had planned to happen, most certainly did not. Besides meeting the lovely *Laila for a meeting on the next event we’re going to organise for the amazing organization we volunteer for.
We (together with 5 other friends) were meant to go to a TEDx event in the Western Cape and were all super amped to check it out.
But what actually transpired was nothing short of a cocktail of unexpected bliss (the opposite of the very certainty I was sourly missing). One after the other they each fell out of the plan for the night. For varying reasons.
By the time *Laila & I were finished with our meeting and catch-up; it was after 7pm and I sure as God made green apples was not going to roll the dice and use public transport at that time by myself. So I went to the trustee spot – Neighbourhood.
*Laila came with me (what a darling). I got a glass of wine and an even bigger glass of water to keep me on the sane side – after all I was basically a homeless puppy dog hoping for the best, hoping against all the obvious odds, that my wild, crazy, fun ( yet suprisingly reliable mate given all the above traits) would come and rescue me as she usually does – introducing *Ava. She (*Ava) had texted me earlier asking if I wanted to join her and a friend for a drink later but hadn’t heard from her since I responded with a vigorous cyber nod given the seemingly dismal state of affairs!
*Laila was hella tired and had to leave, I lapped up the last drops of my wine and walked her downstairs to a cab that was conveniently waiting on our doorstep.
I trekked upstairs and gathered some few coins together for one more glass of vino. I was going to wait but no one said it would have to be a painful wait right? As I stepped outside to search for some familiar faces, I bumped straight into a good friend I had had a bit of a fall out with mid last year. I was happy to see him – as always. He was meeting with some of his friends from University (which is years ago for him). As he tried to call them, they pop around the corner. Intro’s all round, as the surface talk continues a table right beside me clears up and I slide right in and so do the lads.
We all chit chat away. Come to think of it, there was actually never really any moment of awkward silence as there normally is when I encounter people for the first time. I sat next to *Leonardo Di Caprio (dubbed that by a rather liquored up **randomer – typical Cape Town scene right?). *Leonardo made me laugh, a lot. Like out LOUD, several times. How refreshing. Precisely what I needed & didn’t even realise.
When strangers ignite that within you, it warms the heart in a way I can’t describe.
Our conversation flows so effortlessly and so naturally. I’m starting to appreciate why things didn’t work out for us to go to the TEDtalk. The universe had other, better, plans for me it seems.
Later (approximately 2 hefty hours!) I come to a crystal clear realisation – I’ve gatecrashed this meeting of old friends. I dither. Should I excuse myself or stay and sheepishly point out the my realisation or, well, simply stay – I’ve come this far. And the most important part – it all feels right. I don’t feel like an imposter. Maybe they were being polite. I shut that voice down and just continue to enjoy the great company.
*Leonardo’s friend wants to go home. So we, after careful deliberation, decide that *Leonardo shall drop his friend off and we shall meet up at a different spot. Done.
*Ava arrives just as this decision receives the stamp of approval. (I sense the loud, rowdy, happy, chaos in the fairly near distance & know she has arrived...) How perfect.
Elated hellos out of the way, we meet up with some of her other (equally crazy) pals and the drinks flow.
As discussed earlier with Leonardo, I round up the troops and we head to my favourite bar in Cape Town Julep. When we arrive there I see a hand full of familiar faces which I hadn’t planned on seeing – how pleasant.
After the numerous, seemingly endless hellos and hugs. I spot Leonardo at the bar.
I join him and pick up where we left off. We meet a man who dresses up as a nun and makes the masses laugh, we reminisce on the cartoons that made up our childhood, singing “gummy bears,dancing here and there and everywhere” and a whole bunch of other rather childish songs. So much fun.
I abandon the mission to go to Fiction to party the night away, its 1am and I have work tomorrow. I politely ask him to take me home and he does.
No awkwardness when I get home. Besides not being able to find my keys in the bottomless pit of an excuse for a hand bag – but I’m female so I thinks it’s fairly acceptable.
As I lay in bed I reconnect with that electric seduction of uncertainty. Not knowing what shall happen next. It’s a gift you know. Like winning a spot prize when you least expect it.
**The said randomer shall be mentioned in a blog post later. He is a topic all on his own.
